Better than any viral Pete Carroll video

No April Fools but this effort by ESPN's Jeremy Green must be a joke.

Paired with Draft expert Todd McShay, the straight-faced B.J. Novak character in ESPN's ensemble cast, Green comes off as a cross between That's Amore! star Dimenico and a sports-crazed big-rig driver hopped-up on a fistful of Yellow Hornets.


For a fun Saturday night:

1. drink every time Green gives the "OK" sign to McShay or the camera.
2. waterfall whenever you feel like you're watching a latenight magic show at the Tropicana

As an added bonus, the clip is a Vernon Gholston greatest hits compilation.

Reports: Adams out with injury, awaits surgery

Little over a week into spring practice and Jim Tressel may have his first casualty of the '08 season.

OL Mike Adams, ranking officer in the Brew Crew with overpowering stature, has sustained a shoulder injury that will require surgery and may sideline him until October, if not the entire season, according to various posting boards.

IF Adams were to have an extended recovery period, it wouldn't be surprising to see him sporting a red shirt this season back in action soon enough. Though having "Big Mike" around for another year of development while he waits out Alex Boone's departure isn't the end of the world, Adams was/is competing for first year playing time along with classmates J.B. Shugarts and Mike Brewster.

Expect official word from OSU by the end of the day if any of this info is factual. Jim Bollman has confirmed Adams' shoulder injury. Ken Gordon reports this encouraging news:

To put it into perspective, Bollman said if Adams had suffered a similar injury during the season, he probably would have played through it and had surgery in the offseason. That hardly sounds like a separation or serious tear. You can't "play through" those. Bollman compared it to a problem tackle Shane Olivea had in the latter half of the 2002 season. He played through that all the way to a national championship.

This is a setback to a promising freshman, yes. But he may be healthy by fall...

Run Like A Cheetah, Score Like B. Sanders

THE VIEW FROM THE HEDGES

Like millions, I am entranced by the mythos of Muhammad Ali.

An undersized heavyweight, Ali became the greatest boxer of all-time and the godfather of talking smack. Throughout his career, Ali made brash statements about his greatness and his opponents. When he was still young Cassius Clay, he emphatically predicted victory over the impressive champion at the time, Sonny Liston, and Clay backed up his words with two victories over Liston. As an aging, declining boxer Ali said that he could beat the stronger, ferocious George Foreman and he kept that promise too.

Beanie Wells is no Muhammad Ali.

At least, Wells does not compare with Ali in terms of arrogant self-promotion.

On Thursday, Wells told the media that he wants the Heisman. As you can read in the article, Beanie spoke plainly and truthfully. He also did not guarantee winning the Heisman or belittle any of his potential competitors. He simply said that he thinks about winning a little metal man trophy (and presumably, the kind of games that it will take for him to do it).

I am fine with this. In fact, I support it.

While these comments might make "bulletin board" material for OSU's opponents, they also serve a purpose in pumping up his team.

He is saying that he knows he is good and so too is his offensive line. Now its on him and them to make Beanie's wish come true. Sure, these statements put pressure on Beanie and Jim Cordle and co. to perform but an athlete without ambition will be Bode Miller. An athlete should have goals, and Beanie on Thursday just put his out there. Now, I know winning the Heisman is a big goal, but after you've run for a record 222 yards against Michigan (and 957 yards your last six games), how do you top that? Answer: by winning college football's most prestigious award en route to a national championship, of course.

Additionally, I am about as positive as Magic Johnson that some reporter asked Beanie about the Heisman; he did not go off shooting his mouth about it. Not that Beanie shot his mouth about anything, saying that he wanted to win the trophy is much different than saying he would win it. The whole college football considers Beanie a preseason Heisman favorite; Beanie knows this and there is nothing wrong with him admitting that he wants to win it. That's like Bill Murray admitting that he wants to win an Oscar or me saying I want to make out with a hot girl--it might not always happen, but a man can always dream.

Dream big, Beanie, dream big.

Thoughts not worthy of an entire article: Davidson-Kansas and Xavier-West Virginia are the two of the most recent examples of how to blow your last second shot opportunity (although Xavier prevailed in overtime). In both cases, the guards, Stephen Curry and Drew Lavender respectively, waited way too long before doing anything in order to get a good look, which is a perfectly good way to ruin a good game. For more about Davidson, read Big Daddy Drew's take on deadspin . . . Congrats on the Basketball Bucks and their NIT Championship. But the refs really let them bang away on each other--so many blocks, so many rebounds, yet only one player fouled out . . . With only 159 games remaining and the Indians and Reds both at 2-1, there's no way an Interstate 71 World Series doesn't happen this year.

Res ThaSequel lives alone, unless you count posters of Jerry Rudzinski. He is seriously considering buying an NIT championship shirt.

Koufos "update"

The Dispatch's OSU bball blog was quick to begin to Koufos watch. "I don't know" was the most reporters could get out of the tight lipped freshman when asked if he'd return to OSU.

Though Buckeye fans just getting used to the one-and-done trend in college basketball, experience psycho-analyzing football underclassmen can come in handy here. When Koufos says "It's not a big deal for me right now" what he really means is that he's thought about it almost every day since arriving on campus.

As is the case with doomed high school relationships , it's never a good sign when a player still needs to "think things over" but it's not necessarily bad sign either. No one can blame the international all-star for weighing his options and getting some substantial feedback on his Draft status. Hoops & Scoops, the blog above, says he is a projected first rounder (no source named) but certainly not a lottery pick as expected before the season began.

"This is what happens when you put an NCAA tournament team in the NIT"

Though a few weeks ago I couldn't have disagreed more with the "NCAA Tournament team" portion of the above Jamar Butler quote (inspired by Walter Sobchak's "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" tirade?), I'm now fully convinced that the '07-'08 Buckeyes had the kind of heart, if not the kind of talent, to earn a spot in the field of 64.

Depending on how much value you personally place on the play-in game, OSU is now officially the 65th or 66th best team in the land. RPI rankings, for whatever those are worth (supposedly their weight in gold to the Tournament Selection Committee) placed the Buckeyes at 38th, before the win over YouMass. While on the subject, the last four wins OSU notched to finish out a suddenly satisfying season were over teams ranked 30th, 45th, 29th and 93rd, respectively (again, as of 4/3 and using bogus math.)

The game in NYC was as entertaining as one could hope for out of an NIT title match. OSU actually dug themselves out of a half-time deficit instead of tunneling deeper with errant perimeter shooting and the like. As far as the post game pandemonium goes, I missed the documented Butler catharsis but 11W and MotSaG have photos up. Though images from the post game celebration are far from Hallmark worthy, it would be an injustice to write off the NIT victory as insignificant--especially considering the steps made by Evan Turner, P.J. Hill (minutes are minutes), Dallas Lauderdale and the return of Kosta.

As for Mr. Koufos, the Mediterranean Mystery, all eyes turn to him between now and April 27th to see if he will return to Columbus for another season. Your guess is as good as any, as there seem to be few insider tips floating around about his leanings. Matta's philosophy on early departure seems to be even more laissez-faire (see: realistic) than Tressel's so if the Draft experts come a-knockin' then don't expect coach to stand between his prized recruit and the money he already turned down once. However, the good news for everyone that doesn't have a name rhyming with Mosta Loufos, is that neither NBADraft.net or DraftExpress list the OSU center as a first rounder.

The obvious "negative" to returning would be the possibility of being overshadowed by the pure-post player master work of incoming freshman B.J. Mullens. Jealousy, of course, is best remedied with a trip to the Final Four.