Special thanks to Steve Spencer of The Columbus Dispatch for use of his "Mount Buckmore" artwork.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Silver Bullet Points

And the second longest sports-related list released today...
Another bare cupboard for the Bucks?

In typical fashion, Tressel has been nothing but frank about his early-departure policy. Says Brian Robiskie: "Just talking with coach Tressel and a lot of the other coaches, they just said that by you doing this it's not going to take away from anything." Let's hope so, because this "new approach" to the National Championship we've been hearing so much about is starting to sound a lot like last year's model. Of the 13 players who filed out the paperwork

  • UPDATE (12/14)One player who almost certainly didn't submit paperwork, is backup QB Robbie Schoenhoft. Take it for what it's worth, but a headline on Buckeye Grove insinuates that Schoenhoft might be considering a change of position. Keep in mind this could be something out of less than nothing but it's worth considering the impact this could have on the continuing courtship of Terrelle Pryor.
  • Watching TV as I write this: is it just me, or is Total Recall a colorful cocktail of every sci-fi movie ever made?




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Wednesday, December 12, 2007

'Eye Candy


"I felt like destroying something beautiful"

Says the suddenly lethal Narrator after bloodying Angel Face in Fight Club. Had the seminal novel and subsequent film been around ten years earlier, this is the same rationale Zach Dumas would have provided after ab-so-lute-ly unloading on Stacy Danley. With bated breath:




Sweet God. “Hardest tackle I’ve seen in years.” Almost 20 years later and this knee-jerk analysis stands uncontested.

Unfortunately, Auburn proved the tougher team; Danley’s Tigers used the monster hit as motivation. Final score of the 1990 Hall of Fame Bowl: 34-14, Auburn.

Look closely on your 9th viewing to see former Ohio State DB Bo Pelini congratulate Dumas.

As if there were any question as to where the future Nebraska head coach learned to light ‘em up.

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Silver Bullet Points

No surprises here:

The AP All-American teams were released yesterday (this is one that 'actually matters'). After a quiet start to the season, Gholston continues to receive his due recognition as one of the top DE's in the country.


  • CFN unveiled their end-of-the year Big Ten recognitions. Lots of OSU love; Buckeyes account for nearly 25% of their top 30 Big Ten players. Despite all this flattery, one can't help but notice the omission of Marcus Freeman from this list and those like it. Dan Conner, Laurinaitis and J Leman were arguably the top three LB's in the nation, yes, but it's a shame their talent overshadowed the conference's 4th or 5th best linebacker--boasting 21 more solo tackles than Laurinaitis--who would shine almost anywhere else.
  • I'm not one to jump on bandwagons long after they've passed by, but this one is too good to continue ignoring. (Note: Chris from Eleven Warriors and I are thinking alike today) So, at the expense of seeming behind the times in the blog metaverse:

According to his interview with SI, Tim "thinks people just Photoshopped [the jorts] in."
Photo c/o www.loserswithsocks.com

  • Even though the increasing popularity of the Tebow/jorts approximation has left me without an original post for today's 'Eye Candy section, I couldn't be happier that that "Tebow Wears Jorts" has vaulted into the fan-friendly lexicon of college football along with "O-H...I-O!," "Roll Tide!," that cat sound they play at Beaver Stadium, and, to a much lamer extent, "Geaux Tigers!" Losers With Socks, a particularly nasty Tennessee blog, seems to have declared ownership of the phrase, but I suspect there's a clever second-year on UGA's campus who thought of it first. Either way, the mutual disdain for Tebow amongst SEC and Big Ten fans is a welcome reminder of the holiday spirit.

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Silver Bullet Points

Late date with Michigan could make for an awkward Thanksgiving

Much like early reports of the would-be-epic computer crash known as the “Y2K bug,” today’s most shocking OSU news won’t effect anything until around the turn of the decade. At the discretion of Big Ten university presidents, the conference will begin playing a 13-week schedule.

The key rationale being the reinstatement of a bye-week. Math wizards and poor conversationalists alike will immediately note that this means a post-Thanksgiving date for The Game—though it won’t be the first time.

One assumes that the decision was at least partly in response to the onslaught of Big Ten criticism after idle Illinois and OSU “backed in” to their respective BCS bowls.


  • A couple more post-season lists at which to gander (or completely ignore) at your discretion. Notable is Malcolm Jenkins’ deserved, albeit still under-appreciated, appearance on SI’s team after being neglected by Bruce Hooley.
  • Dave Zirin of SI.com puts himself on the map as he rides the coattails of numerous, more successful pundits and makes this post-season’s most audacious BCS comparison. While it is uncertain whether Zirin’s extensive archive is the subject of that new Nick Cage flick, one imagines Dave-O is definitely shelling out ten bucks to see this:



(Note: As you can see, this movie will be legit and therefore is in no way meant to be a backhanded insult.)

  • You know those listless conversations with friends, colleagues, and strangers on High St. about what would happen if OSU played USC or West Va. this year? Those heated debates over whether or not our front four could overpower Oklahoma’s O-line? And how, when all is said and done, someone with common sense steps in and reminds everybody that there’s no way to tell how the game would play out on the field so you’re just wasting your time? Well, ESPN has found an incredibly incredulous way to legitimize that banter. Not that posting links and embedded YouTube videos is changing lives, but it’s difficult to imagine anyone at the Worldwide Leader in Sports could read off those 7 items in the pop-up window with a straight face. Go ahead, try yourself.

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