Special thanks to Steve Spencer of The Columbus Dispatch for use of his "Mount Buckmore" artwork.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Beady-eyed recruiting expert breaks new Pryor story







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Recruiting gadfly Phil Fritz, the Milhouse Van Houten of recruiting experts, reports that Terrelle Pryor has taken Michigan and Oregon off his list--leaving Penn St. & Ohio St. as his only remaining suitors.

This much anticipated information brings to light a myriad of pressing questions:
  1. Who is Phil Fritz to report such topical and sought after information? Didn't Mike Farrell claim this territory awhile back?
  2. Where is this "list" Pryor and his cronies are always referencing?
  3. Does it actually exist or is it more of a "mental note?"
  4. If there is in fact a tangible list, has Terrelle made the effort to add, remove and then re-add schools like Oregon, Florida and Penn St. or has he been writing in invisible ink so that only Charlie Batch can see with the black light that he probably carries around.
  5. Or, is this list more of a work-in-progress, an abstract doodle that Terrelle works on nightly? Picture it: The prodigy's magnum opus, a stick-figure depiction of himself surrounded by hastily drawn images of each school's mascot (Penn St. = a cat; Ohio State = a circle within a larger circle; Oregon = a large dollar sign, etc.)

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